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Co-parenting after a divorce ranges from an easy experience to hell on wheels. I mean, who REALLY wants to get a divorce as it is?!
We marry this person because we’re head over heels in love. Then all of a sudden our lives turn into a bad 80’s country music video. Before you know it, you may find yourself in front of a divorce lawyer.
Now, I’m speaking from personal experience. Shortly after my own divorce, we HATED each other. I think I was bitter because his girlfriend paid for the divorce. Although I didn’t see it then, to each their own.
My ex-husband and I would have constant feuds. Unfortunately, our daughter became the ammunition. At one point in time we both sought advice from lawyers about pursuing a custody case. We never went through with the process though.
The worst incidence was when I received a call at my job from the local Department of Family and Children Services. Yep, the dreaded DFCS.
My ex-husband called and reported my boyfriend on false allegations. Shortly after the complaint was made, a social worker showed up at my home unannounced. My husband, who was my boyfriend at the time, was off work and at home.
The social worker interviewed my boyfriend privately. Then she had him give her my work phone number. That’s when she called me. She instructed me to leave work right away and go pick up my child. I would have two hours to meet her at my house with my daughter.
When you co-parent after a divorce, making false allegations to DFCS should be illegal.
This was the most embarrassing situation I have ever faced. (I get it — first world problems.) She interviewed me, my husband, and my daughter all privately. At the time, my daughter was only 3.
She requested to see in all the rooms of the home. Which, of course, I was fine with. After all, she was doing her job. I even had to open the refrigerator for her to see inside.
Of course, shortly after she left, I made a call to my ex-husband. I was very upset. For weeks it was literally a pissing contest between him, his family, and me.
The turmoil finally settled after the social worker came out for one last, state required home visit. After the visit she called my ex-husband and explained to him she did not see any sign of neglect. She stated that the case was being dismissed.
Eventually my ex apologized to me for acting “irrational”. He told me he was trying to go after my husband, not me. But, there was one thing he DIDN’T understand.
I am her primary custodial guardian. So, when he made the allegations, my husband’s name was not on the report at all. It was only my name listed with one allegation.
That allegation was failure to provide proper supervision. Which, to most people, doesn’t sound right. Especially if the allegations weren’t against me. But, it is right if you look at the bigger picture.
Since I am considered the primary guardian, she is 100% my responsibility. So, I should be present to supervise any type of interaction around her. Which I, of course, really attempt to do. If this allegation DID happen and my husband DID hurt her, it would be my fault. Because I wasn’t around the whole time.
The first year after our divorce was the hardest. I guess that’s because you’re confused as hell. Your life has totally been thrown out of whack. Plus, you don’t want any other biotch touching your kid.
Co-parenting after divorce isn’t easy. But, once you push through the turmoil, it CAN be a beautiful thing.
It’s been 4 years since our divorce. Hear me out when I say this. THE SITUATION MAY BE TOUGH RIGHT AFTERWARDS. BUT, IF YOU CAN PUSH THROUGH THE TURMOIL OF THE FIRST YEAR WITHOUT BREAKING DOWN, DO IT!
I’ll be real with you. Four years ago the above statement would’ve NEVER came out of my mouth. I was all about that mama bear thug life. Anybody was a suspect.
Don’t get me wrong. I’ll still ride or die for my babies. I can go from level headed to straight thug life in 2.3 seconds when it comes to my rugrats. But, it takes a lot more to get me fired up now.
Now my ex-husband has a great girlfriend. I mean, he may, or may not have dated 5 girls prior to her in the past 4 years. Girls that I may have or may have not cussed out like a straight pirate.
My point is, we went through HELL to get where we are now. Co-parenting after a divorce is hard and it’s trying. It’s confusing for you, your ex-spouse, and the children involved. It is NOT easy.
The first year after your divorce, and maybe for even longer, will kick your ASS when it comes to co-parenting.
So, how did we get to a mutual ground? Honestly, I’m not 100% sure. Maybe we both just grew up. Maybe those “lost” feelings finally disappeared after time. Who knows.
One thing I DO know is that we finally were able to put our adult issues aside to focus on our child. Which, I see now, is the best route to go when it comes to co-parenting after divorce. Before, I was too clouded by my own selfish emotional needs. That selfishness consumed me. It ruined relationships between others outside of the divorce situation. The relationship it damaged the most was between my daughter and I.
Thankfully, although my daughter is only 6 years old, she’s the most caring and understanding little girl in the world. So, while our actions were wrong, she’s so forgiving. She loves both of us so much. I must say, the feelings are mutual, kidd-o!
These Memes Prove the Struggle is REAL When You Are Co-Parenting After a Divorce
I don’t know how YOU cope with anxiety, stress, and all the other great things that come with life. But, I’ve found one sure-fire way is to make sure you take time to laugh. In my case, this usually means laughing about the situation. Regardless of how serious the situation should be taken.
Is that the proper way to cope with things? Well, probably not. Mostly because I enjoy sharing things I find humor in. But, just because I think it’s funny, doesn’t mean the person I share it with will. Which is probably why I’m pretty feral to the outside world. I’m okay with that.
I’m assuming, if you’re reading this, you may be currently co-parenting after a divorce. Then again, you could just be nosy. You could also be considering divorce behind your partner’s back. Your life, your business.
By now you know, co-parenting after a divorce isn’t always filled with rainbows and cute bunnies. It’s often filled with razor blades, flames from hell, and the law.
I guess a lot of people realize that, too. Because, if they didn’t, they would’ve NEVER created these awesome co-parenting memes.
Remember, just because it’s posted, doesn’t mean it’s my personal belief. Even if it was, it’s none of your business. Unless you’re going to pay a bill or two of mine. If that’s the case, send me an e-mail. I forward you my information and you can pay the bill or bills. Once you do that, you may e-mail me back with ONE opinion of my life. If I read the e-mail is a different story.
Don’t worry. I don’t believe in discriminating. There’s co-parenting memes for the men and the ladies! 😉 Because, if you’re anything like me, you’re just as guilty of crazy ass antics.
Who doesn’t plan a divorce party while they hack their ex’s social media accounts?!
Fight me, bro.
So glad he ran that “possible stepdad background check”. Whew! The LAST thing you want around your kids is someone with a SEAT BELT violation!
Ugh, we totally hate that about co-parenting. We’re the ONLY parent that can have grandma raise our kids. Don’t think you can be out partying, too.
Don’t get us wrong. When it comes to co-parenting, or parenting in general, we support the whole “if you made it, support it” movement.
But, come on. If you’re going to try to hit your baby daddy up for some cash, be smart about it. If you act poor on the phone with him, you better be acting poor all up on social media, too.
We think stepdads are AMAZING. We don’t quite feel that way about dads who forget about their other kids to play that stepdad role because he hates their mother.
That Bahamas vacation was obviously cheaper than school supplies. Then again, his girlfriend could’ve paid for everything. Kind of like you used to.
We know divorce can be a touchy subject for many people. In fact, it can lead to quite a bit of relationship turmoil. Our intent, obviously, isn’t to offend anyone with the above co-parenting after a divorce memes.
Instead, our goal is to show you, if you are going through a rough patch, you’re not alone. None of us are perfect. Why would we want to be? That would be super boring. I actually enjoy my flaws. Plus, my screw ups are hilarious.
Hey, if you are currently struggling with co-parenting after a divorce, we’re here for you. You can slide into our DM’s or shoot us an e-mail. We’re always here for a judgement free shoulder to lean on.